It's Christmas. The holiday comes with lots of complicated family interactions. They are not entirely pleasant. The goal is in and out in less than 2 hours. Tonight we succeeded. I am not a fan of tradition as we all know, and tonight my brother escaped the traditional family night viewing of Chrismas vacation. He went to visit a couple good friends instead of staring at a tv screen. good call.
In the future, I am going to switch it up. Next Christmas, I will see the people I love on Christmas too, if we're all lucky enough to be in the same city at the same time. Tomorrow sees the return of two of my most favourite people to London, and I cannot wait to see them. They are the people I love and they are who I want to spend my Christmas with. It's one of my favourite holidays, as it is for most people, and I love that some people's homes are places where you are always welcome. I love the warmth that fills those houses and I love to be there.
I am so happy to be back in London, back with my favourite people on earth. My friends are my rocks, my inspirations, and my loves of life. I am glad to be here with you. It feels right. It feels perfect. Merry Christmas my loves. I am so eternally grateful to have each one of you in my life.
Merry Christmas from a chilly London night. Smoking has returned to the basement.
Monday, December 24, 2007
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
We're adults. When did that happen? And how do we make it stop?
Part of the reason that I'm so looking forward to going home for Christmas is getting to have a few less responsibilities on a day to day basis for just a little while. I won't have to make sure the door is locked every time I leave the house, or make sure the lights are all out upon leaving a room cuz other people will be in there! I won't even have to make dinner every night...awesomeness.
"Do you remember when you were 8 and all you worried about was whether you were going to get a bike for Christmas, or whether you get to eat cookies for breakfast?" asked Meredith Grey on this episode I'm watching right now...looks like not a good night for sleeping before 1 am... I remember those days when I didn't have to worry about making sure I had food in the house or money for rent. I guess that's what happens when you become an adult...but it does just kind of creep up on you. All of a sudden the milk went sour and you're eating left over pizza for breakfast.
Random thoughts that aren't torts are non-existent with the exception of those. That is all. rach, from a mild, clear lovely victorian night.
"Do you remember when you were 8 and all you worried about was whether you were going to get a bike for Christmas, or whether you get to eat cookies for breakfast?" asked Meredith Grey on this episode I'm watching right now...looks like not a good night for sleeping before 1 am... I remember those days when I didn't have to worry about making sure I had food in the house or money for rent. I guess that's what happens when you become an adult...but it does just kind of creep up on you. All of a sudden the milk went sour and you're eating left over pizza for breakfast.
Random thoughts that aren't torts are non-existent with the exception of those. That is all. rach, from a mild, clear lovely victorian night.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Law studies at the local pub.
The Peeny Farthing is the Oak Bay Pub. It is quaint and in the old British style; around this time of year it is festively decorated and the fire is lit so its cozy and warm. Tonight a couple of us went there to study and one or more of us left a little tipsier than when we had arrived. The studying was helpful...kind of. I made notes, underlined, etc. all over a pint of Smithwick's. Delicious. And then Jess had never had champagne, so we had some...we toasted to being one-third done, and to life and all it brings. It was fantastic.
Law school is wonderful sometimes. In the midst of chaos, around others, there's that humanity that I lacked. Ah it was awesome.
I followed up with a brilliantly long conversation with Heather. It was so nice to catch up and discuss life. I am so excited to go home to my friends and family, all in one place again, for Christmas. Hopefully my dad and I can bond over smoking, and that we can drink wine, and catch up. It is going to be lovely. I have never been so excited for something in life. It's awesome. Life is alright.
from a milder night, that i may or may not revisit.
Law school is wonderful sometimes. In the midst of chaos, around others, there's that humanity that I lacked. Ah it was awesome.
I followed up with a brilliantly long conversation with Heather. It was so nice to catch up and discuss life. I am so excited to go home to my friends and family, all in one place again, for Christmas. Hopefully my dad and I can bond over smoking, and that we can drink wine, and catch up. It is going to be lovely. I have never been so excited for something in life. It's awesome. Life is alright.
from a milder night, that i may or may not revisit.
Monday, December 10, 2007
We leave the sound on cuz silence is harder.
We leave the sound on cuz silence is harder, a beautiful songwritter once wrote, and its true a lot of the time. We need to be forever stimulated by something. A walk home would be too far without listening to an ipod. An trip to the grocery store, nearly unbearable. At home I don't eat in silence; the tv or my computer is always distracting me from thought.
But at night, outside, a lot of the time I will spend it just quietly out there; no music, no anything to distract my thoughts. It allows for a lot of reflection time at the end of all my days. Sometimes I don;t have much to think about other than the Mariner case for property law, but usually I can store that somewhere else, and focus on something unrelated to school. Anything else. And the nights lend themsleves beautifully to that. Each one carries with it a different pattern of rustling in the trees, or the clouds passing by or the different constellations in the sky. Sometimes the starts are subtle and sometimes the night is crystal clear. The moon comes in its cycles, and reminds me of certain times aligning with them, because I spend so much time looking at the sky...I am a feind of the night. I am an appreciator of the evening, and the late afternoon, but I have never been a morning lover. I just can't do them. I know they are beautiful of their own accord, they feel so sleepy and like you're the only one up and saying hello to the day. I have remarkable had that experience in many different countries and cities, and watching a city wake up is something new everywhere, and its fascinating and wonderful to watch.
But still, there is something about the night that makes it more inherently appealing. Most people are sleeping, and you are still up. You know others are up too though, other night lovers, and there are so many possibilities of what people are doing up so late. No matter what you are doing, you know you have someone somewhere that is doing the same thing. Someone else is cramming for their property exam. Someone is blazing. Someone is folding their laundry...shite I haven't done that yet. Someone is watching a movie as they fall asleep. Its comforting to know.
Its been quite the rant, hopefully semi-coherent. I make no promises either way, but if you made it this far, great. I have studied a lot of property and am due to get up in 4.5 hours to finish up. Oh god. that is foul. at least im chilling right now....
rach, from a cloudy, starless, chilly, damp, regina spektor filled night
But at night, outside, a lot of the time I will spend it just quietly out there; no music, no anything to distract my thoughts. It allows for a lot of reflection time at the end of all my days. Sometimes I don;t have much to think about other than the Mariner case for property law, but usually I can store that somewhere else, and focus on something unrelated to school. Anything else. And the nights lend themsleves beautifully to that. Each one carries with it a different pattern of rustling in the trees, or the clouds passing by or the different constellations in the sky. Sometimes the starts are subtle and sometimes the night is crystal clear. The moon comes in its cycles, and reminds me of certain times aligning with them, because I spend so much time looking at the sky...I am a feind of the night. I am an appreciator of the evening, and the late afternoon, but I have never been a morning lover. I just can't do them. I know they are beautiful of their own accord, they feel so sleepy and like you're the only one up and saying hello to the day. I have remarkable had that experience in many different countries and cities, and watching a city wake up is something new everywhere, and its fascinating and wonderful to watch.
But still, there is something about the night that makes it more inherently appealing. Most people are sleeping, and you are still up. You know others are up too though, other night lovers, and there are so many possibilities of what people are doing up so late. No matter what you are doing, you know you have someone somewhere that is doing the same thing. Someone else is cramming for their property exam. Someone is blazing. Someone is folding their laundry...shite I haven't done that yet. Someone is watching a movie as they fall asleep. Its comforting to know.
Its been quite the rant, hopefully semi-coherent. I make no promises either way, but if you made it this far, great. I have studied a lot of property and am due to get up in 4.5 hours to finish up. Oh god. that is foul. at least im chilling right now....
rach, from a cloudy, starless, chilly, damp, regina spektor filled night
Sunday, December 9, 2007
9 kms for Latkas
My expectations of what is too far to walk have drastically changed. I used to drive to my friend's place who lives maybe a 20 minute walk away. When I had a car to go everywhere, my laziness peaked. I'm not saying I won't revert to old habits when I'm home at Christmas, but in Victoria, nothing seems that far. Tonight I walked 9 kms.
I was on my way to a Patoto Pancakes aka latka party at Gord's place to celebrate Hanukkah. I walked to my friend's place in Fernwood, and together we went up to Gord's. Up is the truth. He lives at the top of a street named The Rise. Streets named like that imply steep. And it was. It is one of the highest points in the city, which I naturally took advantage of for a solid spot to blaze after the latka party. It appears as though I am out of shape. This is not a surprise, but becomes apparent when required to climb to the top of a city that is surrounded by places called Mount Tolmie, and Mount Doug and where there are streets called the rise. I definitly am better now than I right after moving, but there's room for improvement.
The Hanukkah party was nice. There were only a few law kids there by the time we arrived, but it was fun. We chatted, I ate some latkas with apple sauce, sour cream, or confectioner's sugar. All were delicious! The night began with 20 lbs of potatoes and when we arrived they had only a bowl left. There was a serious crew of cooks though, and the beautiful house overlooking a stunning city smelled of fried potatoey goodness. We stayed for an hour, and then blazed at the egde of the road, and then started the walk (all downhill!!!!!!!!!!!) back. 9 kms later, I am back where I started after a lovely but freeeezing night out and about. okay it was maybe around zero. there was serious frost on the windows of all the cars...but no minus 20 like people elsewhere and obviously we have no snow.
There has been no instrumental christmas music on the yule log channel the whole time i have been writting. This is getting ridiculous. Where is Joe?, I ask myself at a time like this.
Rach
from a long journey of a night
I was on my way to a Patoto Pancakes aka latka party at Gord's place to celebrate Hanukkah. I walked to my friend's place in Fernwood, and together we went up to Gord's. Up is the truth. He lives at the top of a street named The Rise. Streets named like that imply steep. And it was. It is one of the highest points in the city, which I naturally took advantage of for a solid spot to blaze after the latka party. It appears as though I am out of shape. This is not a surprise, but becomes apparent when required to climb to the top of a city that is surrounded by places called Mount Tolmie, and Mount Doug and where there are streets called the rise. I definitly am better now than I right after moving, but there's room for improvement.
The Hanukkah party was nice. There were only a few law kids there by the time we arrived, but it was fun. We chatted, I ate some latkas with apple sauce, sour cream, or confectioner's sugar. All were delicious! The night began with 20 lbs of potatoes and when we arrived they had only a bowl left. There was a serious crew of cooks though, and the beautiful house overlooking a stunning city smelled of fried potatoey goodness. We stayed for an hour, and then blazed at the egde of the road, and then started the walk (all downhill!!!!!!!!!!!) back. 9 kms later, I am back where I started after a lovely but freeeezing night out and about. okay it was maybe around zero. there was serious frost on the windows of all the cars...but no minus 20 like people elsewhere and obviously we have no snow.
There has been no instrumental christmas music on the yule log channel the whole time i have been writting. This is getting ridiculous. Where is Joe?, I ask myself at a time like this.
Rach
from a long journey of a night
Saturday, December 8, 2007
People! Beer!
Wow. That is what happens when I post having not chilled out about life enough. Sanity entered sometime around when I handed in my LLP exam, that only final that mattered, and went to the pub for a beer and some grub. Returning to the Frase, I attempted to study for Crim, but tiredness and mild intoxication caused me to read 3 pages and call it quits. I decided I would join some fellow law friends in an evening of Noodle Box dinner and a viewing of The Golden Compass. We followed those activities up with a pint of beer at a downtown pub, and had a fantastic day! I needed relief in the stormy period of exams. People, socializing, and only incidentally talking about law. A brilliant evening; an evening that soothed the need for human interaction and real socializing.
from a very cold, very very cold victorian night. rach
from a very cold, very very cold victorian night. rach
Thursday, December 6, 2007
On Being Invisible
Especially here, especially now, that is how I feel. Exams are an isolating time. When you don't have any friends in the city who aren't in law school, it is impossible to escape the feeling of isolation that comes with living in the Fraser Building bubble for as many hours a day as you don't, or just about. Everyone is stressed. No one wants to do anything except study, because everyone is a keener; that's how we got here after all. Last night, I thought uttered something along the lines of how I would give anything to just have a McJob right now. It is difficult, if not nearly impossible, to remain grounded in the chaos and remember how fortunate we are that we have access to this level of education.
On top of exams being an isolating time, I don't have a roommate or a housemate or a significant other to come home to. This blog is my nightly debrief. Other means of communication, or lack thereof, further fuel this feeling of loneliness. I received one phone call today, and one yesterday. I got one personal email and a facebook wall post. Being surrounded by people, not one of whom actually loves you, makes it hard to feel anything but like the loneliest person alive. I usually enjoy my alone time, but that is not the same as being lonely. I am genuinely lonely. That is how I am, which I would be my response if asked, but people stopped asking how other people were doing a while ago, because the response usually the same. We are all fine, except no one is fine. Fine means not fine, and everyone knows that.
The first day, the president of the LSS advised us to remain human; that behind all of these cases are human beings who lives were affected by the cases we study. Policy is developed and laws are passed to regulate human actions, and we study them all day, and yet law feels like a dehumanizing process right now. Humans are social creatures, but we forget that and leave it out of the equation when we really need each other most. It has been weeks since I hugged someone, and days since I have physically placed a comforting hand on someone's arm, or received either.
Moving across the country was my decision, I know. And I like it most of the time. But this feeling of loneliness is by far the most invasive negative factor, and I just did not expect it. I know things could be so much worse, but it feels pretty awful as it is. Christmas really cannot come soon enough. I cannot wait to be in the presence of people I love and who love me back.
Rach,
the first non-mj induced blog post...clearly an indication that I should maybe go remedy my foul emotional state with my fav green herb
On top of exams being an isolating time, I don't have a roommate or a housemate or a significant other to come home to. This blog is my nightly debrief. Other means of communication, or lack thereof, further fuel this feeling of loneliness. I received one phone call today, and one yesterday. I got one personal email and a facebook wall post. Being surrounded by people, not one of whom actually loves you, makes it hard to feel anything but like the loneliest person alive. I usually enjoy my alone time, but that is not the same as being lonely. I am genuinely lonely. That is how I am, which I would be my response if asked, but people stopped asking how other people were doing a while ago, because the response usually the same. We are all fine, except no one is fine. Fine means not fine, and everyone knows that.
The first day, the president of the LSS advised us to remain human; that behind all of these cases are human beings who lives were affected by the cases we study. Policy is developed and laws are passed to regulate human actions, and we study them all day, and yet law feels like a dehumanizing process right now. Humans are social creatures, but we forget that and leave it out of the equation when we really need each other most. It has been weeks since I hugged someone, and days since I have physically placed a comforting hand on someone's arm, or received either.
Moving across the country was my decision, I know. And I like it most of the time. But this feeling of loneliness is by far the most invasive negative factor, and I just did not expect it. I know things could be so much worse, but it feels pretty awful as it is. Christmas really cannot come soon enough. I cannot wait to be in the presence of people I love and who love me back.
Rach,
the first non-mj induced blog post...clearly an indication that I should maybe go remedy my foul emotional state with my fav green herb
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