The Most Perfect Victorian Night

Had I written this blog two hours earlier, it would have told a completely different tale. Instead of a story about how I layed on the beach looking at the stars, you would have heard a cathartic story of how the stress of exams and me missing people and feeling lonely now that its around Christmas led to a notorious floor session. Because as we all know, when you're on the floor you can't get any lower; you can only go up from there.

So, I picked myself up off the floor, rolled a joint, and headed down to the beach. The tide was out and the beach was clear. The sand was smooth, since it was likely all under water earlier today. There was hardly any lumber and there was no kelp. The lights of Port Angeles were there in the distance, not too bright or invasive, just noticeable. The sky was cloudy in patches that looking stunning by the lights of the city and whispy against the bright, clear dark black night. The starts actually twinkled. It may have been the fact that I had been crying earlier, or that I was blazed, but they twinkled, especially against the reflective sky.

The waves were rippling on the east side of the horshoe like bay, and the waters on the west side were calm. It was late enough that no one was down there, and its Oak Bay, so the odds of people being sketchy are low. After some quality time spent sitting on a lonely log, stareing up at the sky, and listening to the waves, I moved to the sand. It was cool and wet, but it was just fine. Again, on the ground there is no where lower to go. It was so, quite literally, grounding. The way you can relax and just completely lend yourself to the countours of the beach. There were no distractions. Just me and the sky, the stars, the sand beneath me, the sounds of the ocean, and the wind against by face. It was mild, but the wind let its presence be know.

It was serene. The tranquility of the night made the world make a little bit of sense again. Beyond me, there is a whole world. No matter what I do or don't do, tomorrow the moon will rise and the stars will sparkle against a night sky somewhere. The beach always makes me make a little sense of the relativity of my life, our lives. Most of the time, this grounds me; some of the time it makes me feel powerless; some of the time it makes me feel motivated and empowered to make a footprint, to do something that matters. And preferably something that matters to me and a lot of other people.

I felt exausted after I got up off the floor. I considered just a walk around the block to return and go to bed. But once I got outside and looked up at the stunning night sky, my feet took me in the right direction. Thank goodness. I have this perfect night of serenity to ground me as I head into the chaos of exams. No matter how stormy the waters become, the calm will arrive eventually. The end is approaching. I may need another one before exams are through.

Rach,
after the most perfect Victorian night.